Find Your Confidence

What is Stopping You From Feeling Confident?

As a shy, awkward kid with giant coke bottle glasses and no breasts, I longed to fit in. I even embraced kids laughing at me, just as long as they were paying attention to me at all. It’s sad but true that kids can be total assholes. It doesn’t make the arrival into your teens and early twenties easy at all.

In my late teens I invested in contact lenses and started entering bikini contests. My flat chest never helped me much but I focused on my ASSets. I was looking for attention, I didn’t know how to be confident, no one ever taught me. I started college and received a student loan, which I used for a new set of boobs, and worked my way through college. One of those jobs was in a strip bar. This was the job that changed my path.

I was mesmerized by the glamour, money and attention these women received. They were idolized and treated like ‘Stars’, signing autographs, selling posters after each show and even seemed to have real ‘Fans’! Yet, not all of them were perfect, some of them were far from the fantasy woman that society creates.

One thing led to another and before I knew it, there I was on stage. I ended up stripping for 11 years and through it I transformed from an awkward girl to a very confident woman. Would I suggest that this is how you do it? Absolutely not! It wasn’t the attention that changed me and it sure wasn’t dancing in front of a room full of strangers that gave me confidence. It was finding myself, it was finding my own sensuality and feeling good about me. BECOMING A STRIPPER WILL NOT GUARANTEE CONFIDENCE! It was the experiences and mentoring relationships that happened in my life, as I was dancing, that taught me the meaning of true confidence.

These life lessons inspired me to open Tantra Fitness so I could share with others those experiences that helped me most to grow as a confident woman along the way.

I was fortunate to have not been permanently impacted by the very real dangers that often accompany this lifestyle.


One of my epiphanies was when I worked overseas in Greece. I worked with this amazing woman there named A.J. I was in my early twenties and she was in her forties. Yup, that’s way past the best-before-date for any stripper. Life circumstances put her in the position and there we both were. We ended up sharing a hotel together and having many late-night conversations. I remember her saying to me, when I would complain about having extra weight, “You are going to spend your best years worrying about your body and only when you get older, will you look back and realize how beautiful you were.” You see, she was heavier and obviously older than the rest of us dancers. But, she was the most sought-after ‘girl’ at the club. She would hold her head up so high and dance around like she was a movie star. She oozed confidence and the men would flock in to see her shows. It was amazing to witness and would forever change my outlook. I will always look back on that time with her and be grateful for her shared wisdom, grace and mentoring.

Confidence is by far one of the sexiest things in a woman. But what is confidence and how do you get it? Confidence directly ties into sensuality. It is many other things, it’s self acceptance, it’s the art of not giving a fuck, it’s the mind body connection, it’s about loving yourself, it’s about knowing you have value, it’s about self care. She had all of that and more, but not because she was being sexual, she had it all the time, walking down the street, eating an ice cream; in a smile or through a mere glance. Some say it’s pheromones, but without confidence I don’t believe your own ‘law of attraction’ would ‘connect’ with anyone! Confidence is electrical, it vibrates and shimmers outwardly, pulling people towards your own inner light. A.J. had that shining confidence and it sparkled and added to her sensual being, attracting attention through even the slightest movement, action, or gesture.

Women who are aware of what feels good to them, what arouses their senses (not only their sexual ones) ooze sensuality and – Yes, confidence! You see, there is a correlation between sensuality and sexuality but you don’t have to be sexual to be sensual. Real sensuality can become intoxicating when it’s harnessed for one’s self, not for the intention of getting attention from a man, but for the purpose of being free from societal stigma. The truth is: We’re all sensual. We’re made this way. It doesn’t matter if you are a size 2 or a size 32, if you’ve got it, you’ve got it. And people will feel it when you walk in to a room. You will inspire other women. A woman who is truly confident will compliment another woman and embrace them, not judge or feel jealous.

Yes, we all strive to be better, to look better, to be better. But it’s only a woman with true confidence that looks in the mirror and feels sensual regardless of her size. A woman with confidence will look at her fine round ass rather than pinch her extra roll. She may even spend a little extra time rubbing lotion on her thick upper thighs, the ones she wishes weren’t so thick, while looking at herself in the mirror, and still managing not to feel overcome with shame and poor body image. Instead, she accepts herself for how she is right now and bravely chooses to not let her size stop her from living life passionately.

Losing weight isn’t going to give you confidence, getting a new set of boobs isn’t going to make you feel empowered. Those things happen on the inside. You don’t think that some of the models at IGM don’t compare themselves to each other and have confidence issues? I promise that they do.

A woman fully owning and exploring her sensuality will be full of empowerment and confidence.

This isn’t about stripping or sex or about getting a man, it’s about finding yourself and accepting you for your beautiful sensual self so you can live the one life you have, happy!

Some of the lessons that we offer through Tantra Fitness are designed to help you explore your sensuality:

Lap Dance -
 Exotic Dance
 - Erotica
 - Burlesque

Step forward into your own ‘light’ and allow your confidence to shine through – I guarantee, you will elevate your happiness level and attract only positive attention, within and without. Confidently. Passionately. Your inspiration will inspire as you release your own sensuality. No matter what stage of life you are living, live it to the fullest!

By Tammy Morris